Ghosted
jacka212
100 days have passed since your letter was received and you still haven't gotten a response. You've been ghosted :( Take this stamp with our condolences.
The stamp shows a sad ghost and is unlocked when your letter is ignored for more than 100 days.
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jacka212
A number of people here have mentioned some potential negative connotations of such a stamp, including that it can create pressure on penpals and adding a false sense of finality.
I am therefore suggesting an alternative stamp: The Enduring Sentinel, using the mythological Penelope, who waited 20 years for the return of her beloved, as a symbol for unwavering patience and loyalty.
replycca
Stamps are like prizes and getting a prize for something like this doesn't really feel adequate to what the app is made for and putting the focus on these negatives experiences instead of positive ones is unfortunate.
Even though ghosting was made to be used in the context of online exchanges, Slowly "disconnections" don't really feel like ghosting at all.
The app seeks to emulate waiting for letters and even in modern days, international letters take more than 100 days to reach it's destination.
It's not "sudden" to end communication like it happens on other apps.
Even with other alternatives like "Not a peep", "No words", "Gone radio silent", it all lacks a parameter, when would it be ? I've regained contact with members who've been inactive for over a year and I'm sure other's have experienced the same.
I do like your "RETURN TO SENDER" alternative though, but it should be for deleted accounts for example. Because then you know they really won't ever write back.
jacka212
replycca
At the end of the day it is a fact that ghosting is a real phenomenon, even if it's hard to set the exact parameters, and even if it's not always permanent. A stamp for ghosting would not be a "prize" or a "celebration" of this, it would just acknowledge that losing touch with people is as much a part of life as the experience of making connections in the first place, and could help with coming to terms instead of checking endlessly for that one letter that will never arrive.
frankie222
Muy necesario 😅😓
Madmax
This stamp is definitely going to stir up some opinions—especially since I’ve got a bit of a personal gripe with how the word ghosted gets thrown around so much these days.
Did 99% of my classmates ghost me after graduation? Have all my old colleagues ghosted me since I left my job? If that’s the case, how many “Ghosted” trophies are we all supposed to rack up in a lifetime?
And seriously, if you don’t reply for 100 days, it’s considered ghosting? That’s way too much pressure for making friends. Shouldn’t it be more chill than this?
What I mean is, if a stamp like this gets released, it’ll become the official definition—at least on Slowly—for how many days without a response equals being ghosted. And honestly, I strongly disagree with that.
dxxmxnd
I like the idea! Personally, it oftentimes takes me more than 3 months (which equals to around 90 days which is almost 100 days) to write a friend back. Maybe a longer period of time would be more fitting? Maybe two years?
Since I'm a very positive person, the sad ghost doesn't appeal to me. Maybe a cute ghost or a cheeky one sticking out their tongue can be another option?
I think it's also important that the recipient has received AND read the letter to unlock this stamp.
jacka212
Another option for the stamp design can be more positive, encouraging people to focus on the moments of connection in a transient world. I'm not sure what this would like like so share your own ideas.
StapleHead99
I actually don't like this Idea. I have some penpals where we don't write in a year and then we'll write again. It would give them or me a false sense of being left alone.
jacka212
StapleHead99
Thank you for your feedback.
I think there is some question about how to define ghosting but most of us agree that ghosting is a thing and I think most of the time 100 days is enough to say you've been ghosted. It's probably more helpful to move on with life and if a year later old friend suddenly shows up again then you can enjoy that pleasant surprise as well.
StapleHead99
jacka212 I understand your point. But still I think different. Another example. I could have deleted a friend from China, because her last reply was 2 years ago. Then BAM, suddenly she wrote back to me after 2 years just last week. Maybe I wouldn't have kept her in my contacts, if I got a "ghosted" from that.
jacka212
StapleHead99
How you choose to react to being ghosted is up to you. You can think of it like a "nudge" to move on, but moving on isn't the same as giving up. I think it's the same as friends from the "real world" that fall out of touch for years at a time but then sometimes pop back in.
The point is that for most people having a friend vanish without a word for a long time after you've established a connection can hurt and I think a stamp can be something to sweeten the sadness.
ladiscoparty
I think this is a really cool idea! Honestly, I think 100 days is a pretty fair amount of time to determine that you've been ghosted. I've had people write me back after a few months of not hearing for them, mostly because they've gotten busy or just that they have several pen pals and didn't have a ton of time to write me back. I hope this stamp becomes a real thing!
魏佚名
有趣的郵票...但過去了100天..似乎也太悲傷了吧~~
能夠有從20天、40天......慢慢累計的悲傷等級嗎?
jacka212
Another option for the stamp design might be an unopened envelope with "RETURN TO SENDER" stamped in big red letters across the front.
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